Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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