mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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