Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
