My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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