dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
