I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
