I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
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The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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