I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
