Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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