How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
