I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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