I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i would punch a child for taco bell
accomplished twins. life is a go
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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