this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
