Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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