peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
