the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Too much gin, very little bucket
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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