there's paper in my vomit.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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