And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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