there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
