Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
