so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
