oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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