I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
