ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
