Your tits are I can't wait for
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
