Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
