I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
