I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
