There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
