I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
