consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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