Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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