Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
