I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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