I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
