Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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