I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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