like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
