I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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