UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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