By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
