woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize