kristin has been a bad kristin
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Randomize
