member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
