Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
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