question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
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On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
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Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Damn victory sex feels great
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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