Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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