Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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