Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
