He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
