The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
