why didn't you poke me back
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
