It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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