youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
