oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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