I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
