who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
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There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize