If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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